Mark & Nico
MARK & NICO
Our Adoption Story
The Right Time
Adoption was something we had always talked about. We had been together for about ten years when we finally married. Before getting married, raising a family was something we had always wanted to experience together. When we both felt it was the right time to start a family, we got in contact with LifeLong.
For us, it was important to find a progressive adoption company that advocated for the LGBTQ community. Furthermore, the extensive amount of marketing that is done for the families really sets LifeLong apart from other companies.
Riding the Wave
Over a year had passed in our contract, and we both started to get impatient and disheartened about the way our journey was panning out. However, we always stayed optimistic by remembering, when the time is right, it will happen. It will happen when we least expect it. We continued to go through life without putting all our energy into the what ifs. That’s not to say we never worried about the process, but keeping it in the back of our minds while living our day-to-day lives was the best way we got through the wait and uncertainty.
The First Visit
We started building a connection with an expectant mother who was eight months into her pregnancy. We didn’t have much time to get to know her on a deeper level since she only had a month left before her due date, so we decided to take a trip to her hometown to meet her. She was very sweet and welcoming. We met her family and her other children. We believe the first visit really solidified for both the expectant mother and us that we were meant for one another.
There were many unknowns in the journey we shared with her: the unknown of the gender; the unknown amount of communication each week; and the unknown of what was going to happen once she delivered the baby. However, we were okay with not having the answers to everything. As long as the expectant mother felt comfortable, we let her take the wheel and set the tone for our relationship.
“When the time is right, it will happen.”
-Mark & Nico
The Best Feeling Ever
The second we received a call from the expectant mother that her water had broken, we dropped everything and started heading her way. When we were on the way to the airport, we got a call that she had delivered a healthy baby boy. There were no words to explain what we experienced when we saw our baby boy, Parker, for the first time. It was the best feeling in the world.
The Filipino culture remaining in Parker’s life was meaningful to his birthmother. Not only was it important to her but it was also important to us that Parker’s culture followed him throughout his life.The expectant mother speaks Tagalog, and lucky for us, so does Nico. Nico reassured Mark the birthmother was confident about her decision for adoption. She wanted us to raise Parker, and that reassurance was definitely a relief in a process full of unknowns.
The best advice we can give to other parents is to be patient; everything happens for a reason. Without the support of LifeLong and our attorney, the shared journey with Parker’s birthmother would not have been so effortless. During the last few days of our journey, whether she signed or not, we felt like Parker was ours the minute we laid eyes on him. It feels like just yesterday our son was born. Every time we lay eyes on him, it feels like it is the very first time again.
A Beautiful Relationship
We have maintained an open relationship with Odea’s birthmother and biological grandparents. We have seen them multiple times since she was born, and each visit has been wonderful. Odea’s birthmother is charismatic and loving, and her biological grandparents are such well-rounded and caring people; we feel honored to have them in our lives.
Going through the adoption process taught us a lot about managing expectations and patience. We had to leave all decisions to someone else and trust the choices that Odea’s birthmother was making. There were so many players throughout the process, and learning to lean on them required a learning curve.